17 posts by Nebraska Kale

I’m Watching the Game. Don’t Talk to Me.

Super Bowl LI is set. New England versus Atlanta.  Supermarkets stack soda cases in football-themed pyramids; the aisle endcaps overflow with chips, dips and salsa; the display refrigerators are stuffed with hot wings, veggie trays and endless ...

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Halloween in Summer and Christmas in the Fall

I hate it.  It’s August and Halloween decorations have been out since July.  By the time I feel like I’m ready for the Halloween spirit there won’t be any decorations left as the stores move the Halloween items – now 50% on sale – to one ...

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Paper Shredder

When you spend a good part of your life travelling you become protective of your personal space.  I was on my way home after one very busy work trip.  It was one of those weeks where I was working non-stop fourteen hours a day, the type of day ...

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You’re Sick. Please Stay Home.

You’re Sick. Please Stay Home. You have a cold (or flu, or Ebola, or insert any communicable disease here) but you don’t stay home because you don’t think you’re really sick, or you don’t want to stay home because you’ve convinced ...

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Overspray

It happened again this morning. Driving to work my windshield was covered by the wiper overspray of the dirty car in front of me. My car was clean. Now it’s covered in a million brown spots of dirty water that have danced along either side of my ...

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Finger Licking

My mother was the drill sergeant of manners. I never had a meal without a napkin on my lap. I never put my elbows on the table. I never chewed with my mouth open (“You’re chewing like a cow!”). I never said “Yeah”, “Huh?”, or “What...

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Gum

It’s annoying to step on gum, but it's much more annoying to step on gum in the middle of a really hot day when you just had your car mats cleaned and didn't realize you stepped on the gooey mess until you got home, walked through gravel, and saw ...

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Silent but Deadly

I am sure this has happened to you: you step into an empty elevator and smell a lingering fart. Disgusted, you enter, press the button for the twenty-first floor, and hold your breath. Then the elevator slows at floor twelve. Praying the stink has ...

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Coffee Dump

Why do people expect someone else to clean up their mess? Years ago a friend was smoking on my back porch. When he finished he flipped his cigarette onto the sidewalk. I asked him to get it and he said no, that we pay people to pick up our garbage, ...

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Sidewalk Oysters

Yes.  I’m talking about spit.  It’s gross.  And it happens publicly all the time. I really wish people would stop. I played sports most of my younger years and for athletes spitting is routine.  Usually the spitting occurs on the field, ...

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Space Invaders

  Why do people crowd you while you’re waiting in line?  When you’re at the amusement park and the approximate waiting time is forty-five minutes, standing within an inch of the person in front of you doesn’t make the line go faster...

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