Finger Licking
My mother was the drill sergeant of manners. I never had a meal without a napkin on my lap. I never put my elbows on the table. I never chewed with my mouth open (“You’re chewing like a cow!”). I never said “Yeah”, “Huh?”, or “What...
Gum
It’s annoying to step on gum, but it's much more annoying to step on gum in the middle of a really hot day when you just had your car mats cleaned and didn't realize you stepped on the gooey mess until you got home, walked through gravel, and saw ...
Silent but Deadly
I am sure this has happened to you: you step into an empty elevator and smell a lingering fart. Disgusted, you enter, press the button for the twenty-first floor, and hold your breath. Then the elevator slows at floor twelve. Praying the stink has ...
Coffee Dump
Why do people expect someone else to clean up their mess? Years ago a friend was smoking on my back porch. When he finished he flipped his cigarette onto the sidewalk. I asked him to get it and he said no, that we pay people to pick up our garbage, ...
Sidewalk Oysters
Yes. I’m talking about spit. It’s gross. And it happens publicly all the time. I really wish people would stop.
I played sports most of my younger years and for athletes spitting is routine. Usually the spitting occurs on the field, ...
Space Invaders
Why do people crowd you while you’re waiting in line? When you’re at the amusement park and the approximate waiting time is forty-five minutes, standing within an inch of the person in front of you doesn’t make the line go faster...